The Quest for the Holy Grail by Unionhawk, literature
Literature
The Quest for the Holy Grail
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 film by the British comedy group, Monty Python. The film contains many ridiculous portrayals of the middle ages. While these portrayals may be ridiculous, they are not too far away from reality. For this reason, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a parody of medieval times.
One such parody scene is the second scene. In it, a man comes around with a cart of dead bodies, calling out, "bring out your dead." They died, presumably, from the bubonic plague. When King Arthur passes through, the cart worker recognized that he must have been a king, because "he [didn't have] shit all over him."
The Constitut
Every child ages:
This has been proven by the world's greatest sages.
Well, except one, special case:
Peter Pan, by name, whose wishes I truly embrace.
Never to grow old, never to mature,
Of this, he wished to be sure.
I myself am a toymaker by trade,
And with every toy I make, I have played.
But although I wish to be young at heart,
Peter Pan was certainly a master at this art.
And without delay, I begin my tale,
And maybe this theme shall prevail.
It begins in a certain house,
Of Mr. Darling, and his spouse.
And Wendy too, a splendid lass,
Around her children did amass.
To hear this tale, as I relate.
But alas, it soon was
Stranded.
For fifty years, we have been stranded on this little island.
You see, when the flooding started fifty years ago, everybody was forced to go to high peaks, and tall mountains. Only a handful of islands are still above water, and a handful more people survived.
Still, life goes on. Somehow, we must adapt.
"Marriott Cincinnati Airport, how may I assist you today?"
"Yes, I would like to book a room for next week."
"Certainly sir. I just need your name and phone number."
"Erm well, the name is Satan—"
"Your real name sir."
"That is correct. The name is 'Satan.' And I don't own a phone; I'm just using a public telephone right now."
"All right then. Um I don't think I can book—"
"I'm paying cash."
"Absolutely sir. What kind of room do you want?"
"I want your fanciest room available."
"Certainly sir. Okay, you have a confirmed booking for next week in the executive suite. That's a $450 per day rate for seven d
"Hello everybody. I'd like to thank you all for coming to the Nuclear Power Conference. In order to talk about nuclear power, I feel it is important to understand nuclear power. Please welcome Pavlo Nazar. Mr. Nazar worked at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant on the day of the Chernobyl disaster. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Nazar."
"Thank you Mr. Campbell. As he said, I was there when the Chernobyl plant when it blew up. I feel very lucky to be alive.
"That night, we were performing a systems test. Everything was normal, until the power output began rising quickly. I attempted to shut down the reactor, when suddenly, the power output went off
The Legend of the Werechicken by Unionhawk, literature
Literature
The Legend of the Werechicken
"Wait, wait, wait, what did you say happened?"
"I've got bitten by a werechicken!"
"A were chicken " Adam paused to analyze whether or not his friend was being serious, "Matt, what drugs are you on?"
"I'm serious! It was evil! And it bit me!"
"Okay then, what do you want me to do about it?" Adam decided that Matt was too frantic to be joking.
"I don't know, just come over here and help me figure this out!"
"Calm down Matt, I'm on my way."
Adam made his way to his friend's apartment. He knocked on the door, and was promptly greeted by what appeared to be a half-man, half-chicken. "What the fu—?"
"Rela
As many of you may already know, McDonald's recently added some new, "healthy" choices to their menu. Supposedly, replacing an order of fries with an apple is much better for your health. Of course, you still have to get a hamburger to get the healthy choice, which sort of defeats the purpose, now doesn't it?
No, this is just a stupid thing to make people think McDonald's is healthy. Well, it's just not. And I'm okay with that. But they at least need to tell it like it is.
Some parents out there might have known that they had the apples over fries option for kids previously. The theory there was to encourage long-term habits by making kids
"Disaster in New York City as Air Force One, the presidential plane, collides with a commercial jet. There appear to be no survivors. The NTSB, Department of Homeland Security, and the Secret Service are all investigating this horrible tragedy..."
Three days before the attack:
"The President signed a new, controversial law today which will outsource all military operations to private companies beginning in July of next year. This includes the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, and even the Secret Service. This is supposed to stimulate growth in the economy "
"Huh. Hey Matt, did you hear that this bullshit passed? Now I won't have a job.
A nurse held the door open for them. Emma ran to her dad's bedside.
"It's going to be okay daddy," she said, a tear in her eye.
"He can't hear you. I wish he could..." Jennifer took her husband's hand and broke down crying. She looked at the doctor and nodded. "Goodbye... I love you..."
"Eric, I think we should start seeing other people," Sarah told him.
He sighed. This was no surprise to him. Every girl he has managed to date for the past five years has left him. All three of them. Sarah was the longest to put up with him, going on a full three months.
Sarah continued her breakup speech, "I mean, we'll still be really good friends—"
"You don't mean that. Good friends understand each other. You don't understand me at all," Eric interrupted, "Only the machines understand me."
"Well then, you can take your good friends with you and go. That's all you ever do. Constantly tinkering, buying new machines and then tinkeri
The Quest for the Holy Grail by Unionhawk, literature
Literature
The Quest for the Holy Grail
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 film by the British comedy group, Monty Python. The film contains many ridiculous portrayals of the middle ages. While these portrayals may be ridiculous, they are not too far away from reality. For this reason, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a parody of medieval times.
One such parody scene is the second scene. In it, a man comes around with a cart of dead bodies, calling out, "bring out your dead." They died, presumably, from the bubonic plague. When King Arthur passes through, the cart worker recognized that he must have been a king, because "he [didn't have] shit all over him."
The Constitut
Every child ages:
This has been proven by the world's greatest sages.
Well, except one, special case:
Peter Pan, by name, whose wishes I truly embrace.
Never to grow old, never to mature,
Of this, he wished to be sure.
I myself am a toymaker by trade,
And with every toy I make, I have played.
But although I wish to be young at heart,
Peter Pan was certainly a master at this art.
And without delay, I begin my tale,
And maybe this theme shall prevail.
It begins in a certain house,
Of Mr. Darling, and his spouse.
And Wendy too, a splendid lass,
Around her children did amass.
To hear this tale, as I relate.
But alas, it soon was
I am not a Grammar Nazi. My grammar suffers on occasion too. But the utter stupidity of a comment like "your stupid" makes me cringe. What's worse: seeing it deviantART literature. Seriously, it's in the terms of service that you should always put out your best work, and work with grammar errors all over the place is definitely not someone's best work. So, here's a quick refresher course on basic grammar we all (hopefully?) learned at one point or another.
Homophones
No, a homophone is not a phone sex line for gays. A homophone is a word that is pronounced the same as another word, but has a different meaning. Like "your" and "you're." This
Church Confusion
WASHINGTON — After a long period of just existing, the Atheist movement has finally formed into its own church. This is causing massive confusion on Washington with "separation of church and state." The Supreme Court is debating on how this development will change that definition. "Obviously something has to change. We can't impose no religion [sic], since 'no religion' is now a religion," said the president in a press briefing, "It is up to the courts to decide on the future of 'separation of church and state.'"
"There are a few things that the Supreme Court needs to decide," one analyst told the Associated Press, "F
Can anybody hear me?
My voice remains unheard,
no matter how loudly I speak.
They obviously can't hear me.
Sure They may hear me speak,
but are They really listening?
You have no idea what is happening.
I try to make You think I'm a happy person,
but would You still love me if I told You?
The Price of Utopia - Ch1 by Unionhawk, literature
Literature
The Price of Utopia - Ch1
I. Introduction
----
I was running for my life.
I don't think I've ever run that fast; I don't think I've ever needed to. They were on to me, and all I could do was run.
I turned down an alleyway. Big mistake. At the end was a tall chain-link fence. There was no way I could get over it. I was trapped. There was no escaping this time.
"We have a warrant for the arrest of a Mr. Patrick Freeman. The charges against you are conspiracy against the New Order and various other high crimes. Punishable by death." I have been waiting to hear those words for a long time now. I turned around, and, at the end of the alley, stood three or four Peaceke
Must Love Cats
Fur of gold to pet and rub,
Perfect cat for me to love,
Razor claws and pointed teeth,
All the better made to keep,
A quick brush along silky fur,
Rewarded with a rumbling purr,
Given a glancing nuzzled kiss,
He is mine and I am his.
The Quest for the Holy Grail by Unionhawk, literature
Literature
The Quest for the Holy Grail
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 film by the British comedy group, Monty Python. The film contains many ridiculous portrayals of the middle ages. While these portrayals may be ridiculous, they are not too far away from reality. For this reason, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a parody of medieval times.
One such parody scene is the second scene. In it, a man comes around with a cart of dead bodies, calling out, "bring out your dead." They died, presumably, from the bubonic plague. When King Arthur passes through, the cart worker recognized that he must have been a king, because "he [didn't have] shit all over him."
The Constitut
My next project (as assigned by my English teacher) is a creative nonfiction piece. My topic for the piece is Philmont. Specifically, what's so great about it. What makes Philmont so awesome? I intend on using Krakauer's Into Thin Air as a model, somewhat. We've been studying creative nonfiction all quarter, so this should be fun.
Final NaNoWriMo word count: 13,868. Less than 50,000? Yes. But more than I have ever written in one work? Yup! In fact, it's almost more than I have written combined, and certainly more than I've written creatively combined. I'm not done with it yet, so I'll work out the rest of the plot, and then whittle out the bullcrap I put in there to boost my word count a bit (alas, adding adverbs and the like does not take one's word count from 13,735 to 50,000...)
My current word count is 11,740. The goal word count for today is 31,667. Needless to say, I'm way behind. I still feel awesome for sticking with it though... I wish I didn't have as much homework...